flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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