I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Is Oprah even human
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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