I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I think your dad took our porno
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Randomize
