I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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