elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
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