That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
