I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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