I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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