She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
