You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
