That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
