I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
