i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize