I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Randomize