Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
