it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Such a big mess for such a small penis
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
