omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
