I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
