Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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