if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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