Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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