You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
