I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
