doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
