are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
she smelled like a LAN party
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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