can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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