Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
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