Buhtt sex?
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
