we made out on top of his cat.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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