So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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