You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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