what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
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