He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
