Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
