so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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