he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Holy sore nipples Batman
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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