I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
