It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize