Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
