I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
