drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
We smell like vodka and hangover
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
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