Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
