she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Randomize
