So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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