Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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