I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
