yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
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