Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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