I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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