they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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