Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
