i just wanna soil my oats bro
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
