you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I don't deserve a penis
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
