Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
