I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
