Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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