You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
