try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I am one with the molecules
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
He did a backflip because drugs
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
