You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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