We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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