Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
