Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Randomize
