Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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