It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I love you. Go after that dick
Randomize
