I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
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